I am tired
of living between
not being able to take a shit
and needing a bathroom right now!
I’m tired of 4am wide awake
burping up last night’s dinner
while my baby does the best it can
to kick my pelvis outward.
Of backaches and nobody to press their hands
into my sore spots.
Of crying those gut wrenching cries
that sound like a soul is dying
at anything remotely sad.
I’m tired of the chaffing of my thighs
in my flowing dresses
and the way my waddle reminds
me of my growing ass…my double chin.
I’m tired of a man that says he will be there…
The one that leaves every opportunity
to be there,
in his place empty promises.
I am tired of being reminded
that every place I’ve gotten to
has been where my own feet have wandered.
That my choice in men is destructive,
guaranteeing my babies will only
ever have me without question.
Fearing the future
before it is written
simply because the past and present
cannot be forgiven.
But mostly I’m tired of waiting
to hold my baby in my arms
And whisper in my little one’s ears,
“you were made with a piece of my heart
and my love you will never have to fear”.