Zane Luis

Zane is my treasure.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember 

What it was like before I became his mother

As if he was always a part of me

He looks like his Dad,

But my son resembles me.

His giggle laugh and open heart

Zane’s big smile and wide eyes

Like he sees your soul and decides you are worthy 

Holding onto your every word

As if he were hungry to know you

I’m proud to claim that he gets that from me

The hunger, the capacity to love without restrictions

A willingness to laugh at life’s expectations 

Always caring

Loving me on my worst days

Six years old and full of empathy 

I walk in the door and he yells “Mommy!!”

My heart breaking into a million pieces

His words got me like “Yes Dear, what is it?”

Zane makes me cards daily,

Showing me that he is always thinking of me,

Gifting me his artistic masterpieces

On every scrap piece of paper that he can find.

Randomly gazing at me with affection,

Saying things like “my beautiful mama”

And “you are the best mother”

His words give me light in my darkest moments

Pulling me to kindness when I hate the world

Loving me fiercely as if I am his world

And I’m amazed at his spirit

How his soul is the purest

I’ve been knocked down by trash men

In most of my experience

And yet I’m raising a boy that lives authentically

With integrity

I look at him

And wonder how I could be so lucky

I’ve searched the world for hope

And found it in the brown eyes that first grew in my belly

The little hands that hold the pencil

As he draws for me

My sunshine,

I will lay my life down to protect his happy.

The love of my life,

My salvation when I hear “Mommy”

I will smile forever

Because he is my center,

Always and forever, 

My baby boy,

Zane Luis.

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